We Don't Smell » College Life http://www.wedontsmell.com Where everything matters... especially personal hygiene. Mon, 02 Feb 2009 17:21:54 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 Facebook facelift gets personal http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/09/05/facebook-facelift-gets-personal/ http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/09/05/facebook-facelift-gets-personal/#comments Wed, 06 Sep 2006 03:24:20 +0000 Clarence http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/09/05/facebook-facelift-gets-personal/ There were two big news items today. Stephen Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, passed away. I’m not going to say any more because unless you’ve been living in a hole this weekend, you’ve heard every single detail there is to know about his death. And if you have been living in a hole, I doubt you’d be reading this obscure little blog anyway.

News item#2: Facebook gets a facelift. Again, seeing as how everyone and their mother has already heard about this, a post about it was deemed unnecessary. When I first found out about the update, I logged in to see the changes. I was appalled and amused at the same time. I mean, everyone already used Facebook to stalk right? (Don’t lie, you know you do.) This really isn’t that big of a deal. Or so I thought. That is, until I logged in tonight. Here are a few snippets from my home page:

New Facebook

Begin rants
“_____ and ____ ended their relationship. 7:26 pm” Are you fucking serious? Do you really think that’s the way I wanted to find out? I guess if I had a puppy dog crush on either of them, I might be overjoyed and start planning my master plan of becoming Rebound Boyfriend. Too bad I don’t.

I don’t know whose bright idea at Facebook it was to include this feature. That’s just inappropriate. Are you going to keep me appraised of the situation, Facebook? Will you update me with, “____ is wallowing in sorrow. 9:31 pm,” followed by “____ is crying herself to sleep. 1:43 am?” Then why’d you tell me they broke up in the first place? Eff yew Facebook.

Let’s move on to the next item: “____ is no longer single. 4:11pm” I’ll admit, that raised an eyebrow and produced a “hmmmmmmm?” in my throat. Until I realized again how despicable Facebook was. If Facebook were a person, I’d smack it right across its smug, sketchy face. Why would you incite people to poke their noses in other people’s personal lives? Who am I to speculate why ____ is now single?

On a softer note, I don’t care that John Smith doesn’t like The Simple Life any more. Neither do I care that Jane Doe has a newfound love for tea. Frankly, I don’t give a shit. I just want to find pictures of that cute girl I met last night. I don’t want to be updated everytime a friend farts or picks their nose.

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]]> http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/09/05/facebook-facelift-gets-personal/feed/ 2 Elvin Chuang: Online Extortionist http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/06/19/elvin-chuang-online-extortionist/ http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/06/19/elvin-chuang-online-extortionist/#comments Mon, 19 Jun 2006 21:41:00 +0000 Clarence http://www.wedontsmell.com/?p=172 Elvin ChuangMeet Elvin Chuang: Internet pervert. This 20-year-old Hunter College student has alledgedly been trolling MySpace and Facebook for dumb girls. His MO: he reads up all he can on you from your sites and then IMs you. He claims he is an old high school friend who recently changed “her” screenname. “She” gains your trust with all that “private” information she garnered from your “personal” sites, and then springs her sob story on you: She’s in trouble in her art class, and she needs tasteful nude photographs to pass the class and keep that $2,000 scholarship. If you don’t send her nude photos of yourself, you’ll be solely responsible for ruining her life. Oh, what to do?

Any normal girl would block said random internet stalker, and relate said story to all her friends over a laugh and a beer. However, dozens of girls fell for this (admittedly lame) scam. Once Elvin got the illicit pictures of these 18-19 year old girls, he began to extort more pictures from them, threatening to post their pictures all over the internet and in their schools.

Sure, Elvin is a pervert. He’s scum, and he should go to jail for the 2.5-5 years he deserves. But seriously, if you were dumb enough to fall for his little scam, you kind of deserve it. Learn some common sense before you leave college and enter the real world. Seriously.

» via NYPost, Gawker

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]]> http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/06/19/elvin-chuang-online-extortionist/feed/ 0 Seth MacFarlane’s Harvard Class Day Speech 2006 http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/06/13/seth-macfarlanes-harvard-class-day-speech-2006/ http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/06/13/seth-macfarlanes-harvard-class-day-speech-2006/#comments Tue, 13 Jun 2006 17:55:06 +0000 Clarence http://www.wedontsmell.com/?p=164 Seth MacFarlane was this year’s speaker at Harvard’s Class Day Speech. The Family Guy creator does his own little schpiel in Brian’s voice (his own voice) then finishes his speech in the voices of three more lovable characters.

The video is in four parts, and I must say, although the speech is a little on the long side, it’s worth it. Parts 2-4 can be found after the jump.

Introduction:

» via noob.us

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Peter Griffin:

Stewie Griffin:

Quagmire:

]]> http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/06/13/seth-macfarlanes-harvard-class-day-speech-2006/feed/ 0 Extra! Extra! Kids at NYU smoke pot! http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/03/30/extra-extra-kids-at-nyu-smoke-pot/ http://www.wedontsmell.com/2006/03/30/extra-extra-kids-at-nyu-smoke-pot/#comments Fri, 31 Mar 2006 02:39:33 +0000 Clarence http://www.wedontsmell.com/?p=34 Oh my. Who would’ve guessed?

Read Article [Washington Square News]

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