We may not smell, but the Wii does

Okay, I really try not to get caught up in this video game hype. Last time I bought into it was with my Xbox, and Lord knows how “necessary” that purchase was. I hardly play video games, but there’s just something bothering me about this “Wii” system. I typically don’t find it particularly entertaining to write about video games, but the following picture in particular really made me question Nintendo’s “next-generation” system.

Feast your eyes ladies and gents…

Did we just take a step backwards?! That screenshot really looks like it was from a high quality PS1 game. I understand graphics don’t make the game. I’ve known this for years. But really Nintendo? The Wii is looking to me like a Gamecube with motion sensitivity implementation. I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve really had it up to here (lifts hand above head) with Nintendo’s cheap parlor tricks.

I totally understand that this is a third party game, and doesn’t fully showcase the system’s capabilities. But this is already an early sign that developers are not going to take the Wii all that seriously. Even the shoddy racing games for every system’s launch look like the developer gave somewhat of a damn. So now you have a controller that feels you move. Great. But you’re also sacrificing cinematic quality games. Much like the Gamecube and Nintendo 64, gone are the extensive, wow-wtf-this-is-like-a-movie-let-me-show-dad, games. Now you’re playing Mario Party 14 with a rod. You get to wank Donkey Kong off without the messy monkey juice at the end. Go figure.

While I may have came off rather harsh to Nintendo with this entry, I definitely see the Wii having a market. Hell, I should probably be in that market, considering I never have time to dedicate to a single game, and the Wii will most likely offer me games I can pick up before leaving for work, and right before jumping into bed. Then again, these days, the internet fulfills all sorts of digital wet dreams I sought while running Sonic through a corkscrew field in 1992. I suppose a Wii is as close to arcade as you’re getting to home. But it’s 2006. I’m not really into physically getting into the game until I’m actually running away from Nazis on a battlefield utilizing some sort of Nintendo Wii Treadmill® (that, or playing Dance Dance Revolution, heh heh). Right now, I’m all for Rainbow Six: Vegas, and Metal Gear Solid 4. F*ck getting to simulate beating Princess Peach whiny ass for a moment. I slap my hoes around enough in real life. Video games are my escape from reality, and doing the Macarena for my CRT television just doesn’t quite do that.

Now where’d I leave my DS? Peace bitches.