Bathroom Review

I saw this picture today on Gizmodo. It’s an ad for Steelcube’s Tilevision: a “totally waterproof” LCD TV based on LG-Philips’ TFT technology. Hooray! A totally waterproof television for your bathroom. Ok. I’ll be honest, I really don’t care about the TV. I wanted to review the bathroom. I added handy labels to help you follow along:

Tilevision

The first thing I noticed when I saw this picture is that it has a bidet. That’s awesome. Every bathroom should have a plumbing fixture that shoots jets of water up your ass. Just keep small children who may think it’s a water fountain away.
Towel Rack. What’s it doing all the way over here? If I’m taking a bath in the tub, where the hell am I supposed to put my towel? There’s no way I’m walking dripping wet to that towel rack a continent away. It’s even too far from the sink. The towel rack by the sink should be immediately accessible (i.e. I should be able to comfortably reach out and touch my towel). This towel rack requires like 2 extra steps.
Giant empty tile space. All I can think when I see this unforgiving wasteland is Brrrrr! Just imagine trekking across all that freezing tile in the middle of the night! Put down a damn rug!
Ok. Perhaps the perspective of the picture is a little wacky, but that tub looks way too small for an adult. And what’s with the toilet blue water? Is the bath water really that nasty? Also, I’m not sure if that’s steam or jets of water shooting out. Either way, that tub is way too small to act as a Jacuzzi. I must admit, however, that the pillow and the removable shower head are nice touches.
Oh right. This is an ad for a TV. Let’s put it all the way to the side of the picture and make it super small. That’ll sell our product!